A drunken storefront Santa is terminally depressed by the many children who go gift less and starving during Christmas. He is fired from his job at a department store when he shows up late, and subsequently finds a bag that he can pull any present anyone wants from it. An overworked, underpaid, and under appreciated secretary uses a Xerox machine and wakes up in a parallel reality where no one has heard of her. In this reality, however, secretaries are a revered, rare commodity. Onboard a spaceship an astrophysicist and a priest learn they have discovered a planet long dead and a transmitter emitting a signal for eons. They discover that the planet holds the last remains of a civilization, which died when their star went supernova.